MY TESTIMONY, PART ONE.
I always knew I was different from a very early age. I never felt like a girl and didnt look like a girl. I would scream if anyone tried to put me in a dress, I kept my hair very short, played football and did all things 'boyish'.
I was sexually abused when I was a child by a neighbour and my father was a violent man who beat me, my siblings and my Mother for the slightest thing. I didn't feel protected or valued as a girl. And for years, I believed lies about myself, God, and men. The experience also kept me from embracing femininity which, to me, meant being weak and vulnerable.
When I reached puberty, I knew then that my sexuality was not of the norm. I developed crushes on female teachers and other students even though I knew it was wrong. I was athletic and very good at sports.
Whilst my classmates were blooming into women I was sitting there wondering when it would be my turn to develop feminine curves, bumps and start having periods. I actually felt like a third sex. I was a late developer and wasnt interested in the things the other girls were which was make up and boys. I was happy playing soccer, fighting and living in my own little world.
I left school when I was 15 with good grades and just drifted through life doing nothing for a couple of years. When I was 17 my friends and I went to a Pentecostal church with another friends parents. We all sat in the back making rude noises and giggling but when the call came for salvation, 3 of us put our hands up including me. I never felt so scared in my entire life. My face was burning and my heart pounding in my chest. I gave my life to Jesus there and then and we all started to attend church regularly.
One day the Pastor's wife came to me and asked me to go into a room with her, at first I thought I'd done something wrong! She talked to me about the Holy Spirit and started praying with me. She encouraged me to start praising God, I started praising and then she touched my mouth and my lips began to tingle and my tongue felt really thick and I started to shout in another language. She left the room and I started praying loudly in tongues with tears streaming down my face. I felt as though my whole body was overflowing with a strong electrical current and I just collapsed under the weight of it all. I couldnt understand what had happened but it felt fantastic!!!
The next day felt like no other, colours seemed brighter, and I felt as though I was walking on rubber, I felt different, I felt cleaner. A couple of weeks later I was baptised in a pool in the church, it was fantastic. I felt wonderful. I carried on attending prayer meetings and services for a year.
I dont know how it happened and I cant remember but I started drifting away from my friend and church. I got a job in a local restaurant and met a guy working there who was gay, his name was Roger. He was a nice guy and we started socialising. I was beginning to get curious about my sexuality again and one Saturday night he took me to a gay bar. It was a completely different world and I felt accepted and comfortable being with people who were like me. At that time I could never feel comfortable in straight places and I was scared of men as they always seemed to be after one thing - sex.
Whilst I was in the gay club I kissed another woman and at that time in my life it felt right, I felt at ease with myself and knew then that this was the life I thought I wanted to live.
PART TWO ON ITS WAY!
Full Version: A Walking Miracle - Part One
[quote=Cherrychookie,Nov 11 2005, 01:43 PM]
[B]MY TESTIMONY - PART ONE[/B]
I always knew I was different from a very early age. I never felt like a girl and didnt look like a girl. I would scream if anyone tried to put me in a dress, I kept my hair very short, played football and did all things 'boyish'.
I was sexually abused when I was a child by a neighbour and my father was a violent man who beat me, my siblings and my Mother for the slightest thing. I do have good memories of my childhood, it wasnt all that bad but i spent a large amount of it in a state of angst. I developed a nervous tic and wet the bed until I was 12 years old.
When I reached puberty, I knew then that my sexuality was not of the norm. I developed crushes on female teachers and other students. I was athletic and very good at sports. Whilst my classmates were blooming into women I was sitting there wondering when it would be my turn to develop feminine curves, bumps and start having periods. I actually felt like a third sex. I was a late developer and wasnt interested in the things the other girls were which was make up and boys. I was happy playing soccer, fighting and living in my own little world.
I left school when I was 15 with good grades and just drifted through life doing nothing for a couple of years. When I was 17 my friends and I went to a Pentecostal church with another friends parents. We all sat in the back making rude noises and giggling but when the call came for salvation, 3 of us put our hands up including me. I never felt so scared in my entire life. My face was burning and my heart pounding in my chest. I gave my life to Jesus there and then and we all started to attend church regularly.
One day the Pastor's wife came to me and asked me to go into a room with her, at first I thought I'd done something wrong! She talked to me about the Holy Spirit and started praying with me. She encouraged me to start praising God, I started praising and then she touched my mouth and my lips began to tingle and my tongue felt really thick and I started to shout in another language. She left the room and I started praying loudly in tongues with tears streaming down my face. I felt as though my whole body was overflowing with a strong electrical current and I just collapsed under the weight of it all. I couldnt understand what had happened but it felt fantastic!!!
The next day felt like no other, colours seemed brighter, and I felt as though I was walking on rubber, I felt different, I felt cleaner. A couple of weeks later I was baptised in a pool in the church, it was fantastic. I felt wonderful. I carried on attending prayer meetings and services for a year.
I dont know how it happened and I cant remember but I started drifting away from my friend and church. I got a job in a local restaurant and met a guy working there who was gay, his name was Roger. He was a nice guy and we started socialising. I was beginning to get curious about my sexuality again and one Saturday night he took me to a gay bar. It was a completely different world and I felt accepted and comfortable being with people who were like me. I could never feel comfortable in straight places and I was scared of men as they always seemed to be after one thing - sex.
Whilst I was in the gay club I kissed another woman and it felt right, I felt at ease with myself and knew then that this was the life I wanted to live.
[B]I will be writing part two soon. I need to know what to write and do it with sensitivity and wisdom. Please be patient with me.[/B]
[right][snapback]22476[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Sarah Elizabeth,
Wisdom and anointing be unto you through the LORD Jesus Christ.
First let me say THANK YOU to you for being my friend and blessed sister in Jesus.
Your Love for Jesus is evident to me and a source of edification to me. ANYTIME
I see Jesus in someone as I see Him in you I am strengthened in my own life IN
Him.
Please..may I make a suggestion to you concerning your thoughts for the future
parts in your testimony?
As your brother in Jesus I want to share with you a principal that caused me and
many others to stumble.
As you reflect on your past to prepare your testimony be very careful of your
thought process. If you invest too much time in all the events that led you to choose the lifestyle you did they can come back to haunt you. Satan is a master
of deceit. If he can get us to meditate on our old self it opens doors we don't want
open. This happened in my life and many others.
We are to [B]put on the mind of Christ[/B]. If we desire to go back to Egypt in any way
as did the Isrealites in the wilderness we can fall. If we even turn around as Lot's
wife did we become worthless salt. Jesus counseled us to 'keep' the hand on the
plow. I all ready know that you have no desire to turn back..nor do I but even
[B]thinking[/B] about some of the "good times" we had in the flesh can open the
wrong door before us.
Protect that soft heart at all costs.
We both know that the road of the prodigal back to the Father is a looooong one
and many don't make it. As I look back at what caused me to back slide one of
the main reasons was allowing 'memories of Egypt' creep in. Now I protect my
mind and immediately cast down thought's not rooted in Jesus. You probably
know all of this but I know giving a testimony of our past can conjure up old
spirits. I named mine 'The Testimony of Jesus' because it is all him..not me.
We get our Love and compassion for others as we remember our own failures and the merciful forgiveness of Jesus in our lives. How He rescued me is what I want
to proclaim that His name be praised.
The testimony you are giving is so powerful and will be a light to all that are
tempted with the sin of homosexuality. Through you they will see the Faithfulness
of Jesus and His ability to deliver us out of bondage.
As you pray and seek Jesus on what and how to write He is and will be Faithful to
give you the exact words.
I have already been blessed by how Jesus touched you in that church.
You know my prayers and unwavering support are with you.
Now, lets hear some more!!!
I love you,
Tomcat (furball)
[B]MY TESTIMONY - PART ONE[/B]
I always knew I was different from a very early age. I never felt like a girl and didnt look like a girl. I would scream if anyone tried to put me in a dress, I kept my hair very short, played football and did all things 'boyish'.
I was sexually abused when I was a child by a neighbour and my father was a violent man who beat me, my siblings and my Mother for the slightest thing. I do have good memories of my childhood, it wasnt all that bad but i spent a large amount of it in a state of angst. I developed a nervous tic and wet the bed until I was 12 years old.
When I reached puberty, I knew then that my sexuality was not of the norm. I developed crushes on female teachers and other students. I was athletic and very good at sports. Whilst my classmates were blooming into women I was sitting there wondering when it would be my turn to develop feminine curves, bumps and start having periods. I actually felt like a third sex. I was a late developer and wasnt interested in the things the other girls were which was make up and boys. I was happy playing soccer, fighting and living in my own little world.
I left school when I was 15 with good grades and just drifted through life doing nothing for a couple of years. When I was 17 my friends and I went to a Pentecostal church with another friends parents. We all sat in the back making rude noises and giggling but when the call came for salvation, 3 of us put our hands up including me. I never felt so scared in my entire life. My face was burning and my heart pounding in my chest. I gave my life to Jesus there and then and we all started to attend church regularly.
One day the Pastor's wife came to me and asked me to go into a room with her, at first I thought I'd done something wrong! She talked to me about the Holy Spirit and started praying with me. She encouraged me to start praising God, I started praising and then she touched my mouth and my lips began to tingle and my tongue felt really thick and I started to shout in another language. She left the room and I started praying loudly in tongues with tears streaming down my face. I felt as though my whole body was overflowing with a strong electrical current and I just collapsed under the weight of it all. I couldnt understand what had happened but it felt fantastic!!!
The next day felt like no other, colours seemed brighter, and I felt as though I was walking on rubber, I felt different, I felt cleaner. A couple of weeks later I was baptised in a pool in the church, it was fantastic. I felt wonderful. I carried on attending prayer meetings and services for a year.
I dont know how it happened and I cant remember but I started drifting away from my friend and church. I got a job in a local restaurant and met a guy working there who was gay, his name was Roger. He was a nice guy and we started socialising. I was beginning to get curious about my sexuality again and one Saturday night he took me to a gay bar. It was a completely different world and I felt accepted and comfortable being with people who were like me. I could never feel comfortable in straight places and I was scared of men as they always seemed to be after one thing - sex.
Whilst I was in the gay club I kissed another woman and it felt right, I felt at ease with myself and knew then that this was the life I wanted to live.
[B]I will be writing part two soon. I need to know what to write and do it with sensitivity and wisdom. Please be patient with me.[/B]
[right][snapback]22476[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Sarah Elizabeth,
Wisdom and anointing be unto you through the LORD Jesus Christ.
First let me say THANK YOU to you for being my friend and blessed sister in Jesus.
Your Love for Jesus is evident to me and a source of edification to me. ANYTIME
I see Jesus in someone as I see Him in you I am strengthened in my own life IN
Him.
Please..may I make a suggestion to you concerning your thoughts for the future
parts in your testimony?
As your brother in Jesus I want to share with you a principal that caused me and
many others to stumble.
As you reflect on your past to prepare your testimony be very careful of your
thought process. If you invest too much time in all the events that led you to choose the lifestyle you did they can come back to haunt you. Satan is a master
of deceit. If he can get us to meditate on our old self it opens doors we don't want
open. This happened in my life and many others.
We are to [B]put on the mind of Christ[/B]. If we desire to go back to Egypt in any way
as did the Isrealites in the wilderness we can fall. If we even turn around as Lot's
wife did we become worthless salt. Jesus counseled us to 'keep' the hand on the
plow. I all ready know that you have no desire to turn back..nor do I but even
[B]thinking[/B] about some of the "good times" we had in the flesh can open the
wrong door before us.
Protect that soft heart at all costs.
We both know that the road of the prodigal back to the Father is a looooong one
and many don't make it. As I look back at what caused me to back slide one of
the main reasons was allowing 'memories of Egypt' creep in. Now I protect my
mind and immediately cast down thought's not rooted in Jesus. You probably
know all of this but I know giving a testimony of our past can conjure up old
spirits. I named mine 'The Testimony of Jesus' because it is all him..not me.
We get our Love and compassion for others as we remember our own failures and the merciful forgiveness of Jesus in our lives. How He rescued me is what I want
to proclaim that His name be praised.
The testimony you are giving is so powerful and will be a light to all that are
tempted with the sin of homosexuality. Through you they will see the Faithfulness
of Jesus and His ability to deliver us out of bondage.
As you pray and seek Jesus on what and how to write He is and will be Faithful to
give you the exact words.
I have already been blessed by how Jesus touched you in that church.
You know my prayers and unwavering support are with you.
Now, lets hear some more!!!
I love you,
Tomcat (furball)
Thanks furball. 
Thats why I stopped my testimony there and then because I started to feel uncomfortable with opening up the dead and buried. I need to seek the Holy Spirits council on this for wisdom.
On one hand I need to tell the whole truth as it happened so as not to water down my life and make it look too flowery but on the other hand I want to honor Jesus and not hurt Him or offend The Holy Spirit by telling too much and opening up old wounds. I want my testimony to help those who are battling with homosexual feelings or are homosexual and feel they have no hope. This is so difficult Tombo...
But with the love of Jesus and friends like you to guide me and offer me advice, I just might get it right!!!!!
Ive just read back on it and I have changed some wording. You were right Tom, some of sounded like I was looking back on the "good" times when they were nothing but. Satan is such a deceiver and can sneak in when you least expect it. Thanks furball, your friendship is precious!
Thats why I stopped my testimony there and then because I started to feel uncomfortable with opening up the dead and buried. I need to seek the Holy Spirits council on this for wisdom.
On one hand I need to tell the whole truth as it happened so as not to water down my life and make it look too flowery but on the other hand I want to honor Jesus and not hurt Him or offend The Holy Spirit by telling too much and opening up old wounds. I want my testimony to help those who are battling with homosexual feelings or are homosexual and feel they have no hope. This is so difficult Tombo...
But with the love of Jesus and friends like you to guide me and offer me advice, I just might get it right!!!!!
Ive just read back on it and I have changed some wording. You were right Tom, some of sounded like I was looking back on the "good" times when they were nothing but. Satan is such a deceiver and can sneak in when you least expect it. Thanks furball, your friendship is precious!
Tomcat says:
"....about some of the "good times" we had in the flesh can open the
wrong door before us".
Ya, like listening to Dark Side of the Moon........
"....about some of the "good times" we had in the flesh can open the
wrong door before us".
Ya, like listening to Dark Side of the Moon........
I hadn't listened for Floyd in YEARS... until I went out to dinner with another couple. They are more friends with my husband than me. The guy started blaring "Numb" as we drove back from the resaurant, and I was taken back to some very dark days. Hearing old music is like opening up the memory bank. It can take you back to a very moment in time... man oh man.
I had fun singing along- I have to admit. But I couldn't listen to that stuff for long.
[quote=jhamner,Nov 12 2005, 09:47 AM]
I hadn't listened for Floyd in YEARS... until I went out to dinner with another couple. They are more friends with my husband than me. The guy started blaring "Numb" as we drove back from the resaurant, and I was taken back to some very dark days. Hearing old music is like opening up the memory bank. It can take you back to a very moment in time... man oh man.
I had fun singing along- I have to admit. But I couldn't listen to that stuff for long.
[right][snapback]22602[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hello..Hello..Is there any body in there?
Yes..The Holy Spirit..Who's asking?
Miki and Jhamner..
You guys are funny..
Being a drummer ..I've drummed to most of Floyd's music.
But I prefer..
I listen to the Trumpet of Jesus..While the world hears a different sound
I march to the drumbeat of God Almighty while the others just wander around.
I'm a member of the Holy Ghost's traveling band,We're moving up to a better land.
I hear the voice of a supernatural singer like only those who know him can...
(Imperials 1980)
Sarah Elizabeth..
How about dinner?? Happy are those that are called to HIS supper.
I'm rubber and you're glue. You're kind words to me bounce off me and
stick to you..
You're in my prayers .. as usual.
Much love, Tom(furball)Cat
I hadn't listened for Floyd in YEARS... until I went out to dinner with another couple. They are more friends with my husband than me. The guy started blaring "Numb" as we drove back from the resaurant, and I was taken back to some very dark days. Hearing old music is like opening up the memory bank. It can take you back to a very moment in time... man oh man.
I had fun singing along- I have to admit. But I couldn't listen to that stuff for long.
[right][snapback]22602[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hello..Hello..Is there any body in there?
Yes..The Holy Spirit..Who's asking?
Miki and Jhamner..
You guys are funny..
Being a drummer ..I've drummed to most of Floyd's music.
But I prefer..
I listen to the Trumpet of Jesus..While the world hears a different sound
I march to the drumbeat of God Almighty while the others just wander around.
I'm a member of the Holy Ghost's traveling band,We're moving up to a better land.
I hear the voice of a supernatural singer like only those who know him can...
(Imperials 1980)
Sarah Elizabeth..
How about dinner?? Happy are those that are called to HIS supper.
I'm rubber and you're glue. You're kind words to me bounce off me and
stick to you..
You're in my prayers .. as usual.
Much love, Tom(furball)Cat
Thank you dearest Furball!!
Well since I posted my testimony Ive REALLY been under spiritual attack. At the weekends I love to have a little afternoon nap and on Saturday afternoon settled down for 40 winks. Ive been battling a nasty cold as well and I had the most terrible nightmare. It was all about my past and was very vivid and personal. When I awoke, it was pitch black (it gets dark very early this time of year) and for a moment I felt very alone, panicky and scared.
I have felt very low this weekend and I got a text from my christian friend who has also been healed of her homosexual lifestyle, and her doctor has put her on anti-depressants. She is so down and in her words, she is in a dark place at the moment. I felt so bad for her, I know the pain she is going through.
I know the battle isnt over yet, not for any of us. I thank God I dont live that life anymore and that Jesus still loves me in my times of weakness. Thank you Jesus for healing me and being the Father I have always wanted.
Well since I posted my testimony Ive REALLY been under spiritual attack. At the weekends I love to have a little afternoon nap and on Saturday afternoon settled down for 40 winks. Ive been battling a nasty cold as well and I had the most terrible nightmare. It was all about my past and was very vivid and personal. When I awoke, it was pitch black (it gets dark very early this time of year) and for a moment I felt very alone, panicky and scared.
I have felt very low this weekend and I got a text from my christian friend who has also been healed of her homosexual lifestyle, and her doctor has put her on anti-depressants. She is so down and in her words, she is in a dark place at the moment. I felt so bad for her, I know the pain she is going through.
I know the battle isnt over yet, not for any of us. I thank God I dont live that life anymore and that Jesus still loves me in my times of weakness. Thank you Jesus for healing me and being the Father I have always wanted.
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