Recapture Value in True Manhood

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August 25, 2008 | From theTrumpet.com
Men today are suffering from gender confusion. Our society is now full of "soft"—and unhappy—males. Men's encounter groups are springing up all over the world to help men deal with their intense sadness. Some are beating drums and dancing war dances to recapture their true manhood. What is true manhood anyway? By Dennis Leap


Unfortunately, as writer Robert Bly puts it, we now live in the age of the "soft male." In the early 90s, he expressed his concerns about American men in a book titled Iron John, which contains some astute observations.

Mr. Bly states: "The male in the past 20 years has become more thoughtful, more gentle. … He's a nice boy who pleases not only his mother but also the young woman he is living with. … But many of these men are not happy. You quickly notice a lack of energy in them. They are life-preserving but not exactly life-giving. Ironically, you often see these men with strong women who positively radiate energy. Here we have a finely tuned young man, ecologically superior to his father, sympathetic to the whole harmony of the universe, yet he himself has little vitality to offer" (pages 2-3).

Today, many men, young and old, have become confused as to what it means to be a man. Many are perplexed on how to behave in marriage, in the family or in society. To put it simply, men are suffering from serious gender confusion.

Our Upside-Down Society

What has caused gender confusion?

The women's movement has led the pack in creating new roles for both sexes. Having almost complete access to a liberal press and television, the feminist movement has wielded considerable influence over the massive social changes taking place the last several decades. The traditional roles for men—leader, husband, father, provider, and protector—have become the focal point of criticism and ridicule in newspaper articles, books, movies and TV sitcoms. The "Dagwood" cartoon is a perfect example of such ridicule. Mr. Bumstead is portrayed as a bumbling idiot who must always be bailed out by a bright, intelligent—always on target—wife.

The Prophet Isaiah wrote this about our current social values: "Woe unto them that seek deep to hide their counsel from the Lord, and their works are in the dark, and they say, Who seeth us? and who knoweth us? Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding" (Isaiah 29:15-16). Isaiah criticizes our leaders—the men and women who influence our culture—by showing they are guilty of turning things upside down. "Upside down" is an apt description of our society and its values. It is a perfect description of many of today's marriages and families. The new roles carved out for men and women today are not as God designed them to be.

But, the feminist movement does not share all of the blame for the plight of today's men. There are several other conditions that are contributing to our "soft male" syndrome. The truth is, men have had their own part in creating this problem.

Women Rule Over Them

The majority of today's families are suffering from absentee fathers. Because of selfishness, either as career pursuits or just plain pleasure-seeking, many men are shunning their responsibilities at home. How many fathers have allowed themselves to become mere shadows in the family? Think about this scenario. Tonight, how many homes will have a father either sleeping on a couch or absorbed in a sports program on TV, while the wife is assisting the children with homework or other activities? Far too many!

Men are capitulating their role as leader, energizer, and influencer to their wives. Our sons (and daughters) are growing up without a father actively involved with and guiding their young lives. Many wives have been forced to be both father and mother. Today's sons are growing up under a heavy feminine influence. Many men have become soft because they are not being properly taught how to be men.

One other factor contributing to the effect of "soft males" is our high divorce rate. This has produced a large number of female-dominated, single-parent families. In other words, too many sons are growing up without any male role model in the home. Isaiah also wrote of our time, "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths" (Isaiah 3:12).

Think about this scripture. God holds heavy criticism for our modern society. God is upset with us for allowing children to oppress us and women to rule over us. But who is God upset with? Who is at fault? Certainly today's women. We do now live in a female-dominated society. God says that this is definitely in error. However, it would be too easy to just place all the blame on today's women. Shouldn't we also criticize men for giving up their leadership role to women? Yes—a resounding, yes!

Combine all of these factors together: the feminist movement, the media ridicule of men, the lack of strong male role models, female-dominated families, and it becomes easy to see why we have "soft males" that must turn to mother for help when they face a crisis!

Although some thinking people recognize the weaknesses in today's men, they do not realize the somber consequences if the problems are not corrected quickly. Robert Bly feels that men are just experiencing another saga in our evolution. But man is not a product of evolution. We cannot evolve our way out of society's tragic problems.

We must learn what God reveals about this so we can live faithfully according to His revealed knowledge about men and the role men must play in marriage, in family and in society. Our society no longer knows how to value real manhood. Many men are suffering great unhappiness as a result. This article will show you how to recapture value in true manhood.

Man the Head

God designed men and women to function a certain way for a tremendous spiritual purpose. God reveals in Genesis, "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them" (Genesis 1:26-27). God's supreme purpose is for men and women to be born into His own spirit Family. God planned this physical life to be the training ground for that eternal life. To qualify to live for eternity, men and women must first live as God devised physically. Modern men and women have rejected God's revealed knowledge concerning the unique sex roles for men and women. A global disaster is about to strike this planet as a result. All mankind must learn to live as God intended. Human beings will never be happy until they live according to God's revealed purpose. What does God reveal about His intended role for men?

Some scientists believe that the female evolved first. That piece of information does not square with your Bible. Paul instructed Timothy, "For Adam was first formed, then Eve" (1 Timothy 2:13). God created Adam first. Why? Was it because he was better? No. Adam was created first because God intended that he be the head, or leader, of the family. Paul explained to the Ephesians, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Ephesians 5:23).

The man's God-ordained role as leader of the family is markedly evident throughout the Bible. Paul stated it this way to the Corinthians: "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God" (1 Corinthians 11:3). What does Paul mean when he uses the word head?

In these two verses Paul used the Greek word kephale for head. The Strong's Concordance number for this word is 2776. Thayer's shows that this word means "anything supreme, chief, prominent, of persons, master lord … of a husband in relation to his wife." In today's language we could use the word president, chancellor, prime minister, king or captain in place of head. In other words, Paul taught that Adam was given seniority over Eve. By extension then, married men hold seniority over their wives.

It is also interesting to note that kephale indicates that the headship must be seized, or taken hold of. Where do most men fail today? How did Adam fail? Adam failed by not taking hold of or seizing his God-given authority. Study for yourself the incident in Genesis 3. Although Bible scholars and today's educators see Adam and Eve's story as allegory, we must see it as divine revelation. Chapters 1 and 2 make it clear that Adam was the appointed leader, the one in charge. Eve was to be his helper (Genesis 2:1Cool. But who took charge? Eve. She ate of the wrong tree and led Adam to do so. Adam sinned by eating of the wrong tree. However, he was not deceived into eating (1 Timothy 2:14). He allowed Eve to lead him into this sin. Adam allowed Eve to make the decision. By following Eve, he disobeyed God's direct command to him alone (Genesis 2:16-17). Eve had not been created yet. Adam should have taught her God's command. Who committed the greater sin? Clearly it was Adam.

Christ the Perfect Example

Some men fail today in marriage and family life because they will not take hold of or seize their God-ordained authority. Some men prefer that women assume the role of leader and decision maker. This is a serious sin before God. Paul wrote, "But I suffer not a woman … to usurp authority over the man …" (1 Timothy 2:12). Men must be careful not to fall into Adam's sin. Women must learn not to repeat Eve's sin. The lesson from Genesis is a tough one. When a man is weak or when a woman commandeers a man's authority, tragic events take place. Generally, children suffer the most. Genesis records Adam and Eve's tragic family problems that arose as a result of their sin. Remember, their firstborn son killed his brother. Adam and Eve's decision to reject God's revealed knowledge has brought much suffering into the life of mankind ever since.

There is another side to men's problems with leadership. Those willing to lead have not known how to lead! When Adam and Eve ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they began to decide for themselves what was right and wrong. Cut off from God's revelation, men have been experimenting with their authority ever since.

Since Adam's time, most men have been trying to decide for themselves what leadership means. History is full of examples of wrong leadership. In past ages, men made women slaves—mere property. Even today, some men expect their wives to fulfill their every whim. Over time, men have been despotic tyrants, dictators, and absolute rulers who abuse power. This is not as God intended. If a man is considered a king, then his wife is the queen. Although a man and woman do not share equal authority, they should be equal in dignity. In our modern times, too many women and wives have been physically and verbally abused. God is going to severely punish men for committing such crimes.

How then should a man "seize" his authority?

Jesus Christ is the perfect example. Men should lead their wives as Christ leads the Church. Paul's statement to the Ephesians is worth repeating here. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body" (Ephesians 5:23). How does Christ lead the Church? He leads it by love and service! Men should lead their wives and families by loving and serving them. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (verse 25).

A man who is Christ-like in his marriage will exhibit outgoing concern for his wife and her welfare. It is true that a woman was created to be a man's helper. But a husband who understands what it means to be a leader will lovingly serve his wife's and family's needs. Paul wrote the Colossians, "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them" (Colossians 3:19). Christ takes care of the Church's needs in love. A husband who has Christ's character is kind, considerate, affectionate and giving. He does not treat his wife with bitterness or resentment.

Husband—Savior

As Head of the Church, Christ leads by saving it. Christ rescues, saves and helps the Church. A husband should also be a type of savior toward his wife. Jesus Christ has so much love for the Church that He willingly gave Himself for it as the supreme sacrifice. Jesus Christ gives instead of trying to get. The husband, as a leader, must follow Christ's example.

As a type of savior, husbands have been given an exalted position. Men should not let that go to their heads. With this position comes grave responsibility. In referring to leadership, Christ taught the disciples, "But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant" (Matthew 23:11). A husband must have the attitude of a servant toward his wife and family.

Jesus Christ said this of Himself, "Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many" (Matthew 20:2Cool. Jesus Christ did not "lord it over" the disciples. He does not "lord it over" the Church. He served the disciples and now serves the Church. Men should not "lord it over" their wives.

Many men have trouble with the words submission and authority. Some have fallen into the trap of thinking that they must make all of the decisions all of the time. Jesus Christ does not even do this with the Church (Matthew 16:19). God created women to help men in the decision-making process. There are many times when a wife's input is necessary. There will be times when a husband and wife will disagree. This does not mean that the wife is rebellious. But both husband and wife should realize that Christ has given final authority in the decision process to the man. Men must use wisdom and outgoing concern when making decisions.

A husband must set the example in Christian character as well. Men must set the example in prayer, Bible study and fasting. Men should set an example of submission and obedience to God's Word.

Husband—Provider

A husband must provide for his wife. In other words, he must rescue, help and save his wife physically. Every man naturally sees to his own needs. He must provide for hers as well. Paul instructed the Ephesians, "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" (Ephesians 5:28-29). If we truly cherish our wives, we will see that they are nourished and taken care of physically.

Paul wrote Timothy, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Timothy 5:Cool. In comparison to a woman's body, a man's body and cell structure was designed to handle hard physical labor. Men were designed to be the providers.

As men, we should be hard working so that we can provide for the needs of our wives and family. Our society is full of men who are just too lazy to work. Too many men are on the take. They are leaving it to the government or other family members to provide for their families. Many women today are working outside of the home because their husbands are not.

Yes, economically it is very difficult today. Some families' needs require that both husband and wife work. If there are small children at home, if at all possible, the wife should not work. Whether a wife works or not is a serious decision. If a wife goes to work because a husband will not, God says that man has "denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." That is a very serious condemnation.

What should a man do if he loses his job? He should work eight hours a day to get another job! Until he finds a job, he should also be willing to work several part-time jobs. What if a man cannot find a job in his area of training? He should seek the proper education or retraining to obtain a job. Having a good work ethic is a large part of developing strong Christian character in men. Some men in the Church in Paul's day were not working as they should. Here is what he said to them: "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat" (2 Thessalonians 3:10 ).

Husband—Teacher

A husband has responsibility to provide for his wife's spiritual development as well. Peter wrote, "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (1 Peter 3:7). A man owes his wife honor and respect. He must provide for her physical needs. But he must also realize that she is an heir of eternal life. A man must ensure that his wife has the time and opportunities to attain the Kingdom of God.

The most significant job Christ performs as Head of the Church is that of teacher. "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish" (Ephesians 5:26-27). Jesus Christ desires a bride who is beautiful because of righteousness (Revelation 19:7-Cool. Christ is going to ensure the Church's future beauty through His teaching. He is washing it now through the His Word.

A man must also teach his wife. "And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church" (1 Corinthians 14:35). A husband should know his Bible well enough so that he can guide his wife and family spiritually. He should be ever watchful over the spiritual needs of his wife and family—making sure they have time to pray and study, to fast without interruption from himself or the children. He should take the time to patiently answer his wife's Bible questions and conduct family Bible studies. Are we ashamed to do these things? Jesus Christ warns us, "For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father's, and of the holy angels" (Luke 9:26). Great shame will come upon us men if we do not teach our wives and families.

No Drum Beating

Many men have become very unhappy with the state of men in this world. Men are beginning to recognize that being "soft" is not solving society's problems. Some recognize that men and society need to understand true manhood. Men need to be men. Men's encounter groups are springing up all over the world to attempt to deal with the intense loss and sadness that men are feeling about themselves. In these encounter groups, men beat drums and dance war dances to try to recapture their lost manhood. Some men's groups are studying mythology to recapture true manhood.

But these methods will never work. The understanding of true manhood can only be found in the pages of your Bible. Let's be men. Let's recapture the value in true manhood. Let's study our Bibles and ask God to make us the men we need to be! •

EXCELLENT ARTICLE!!!!!


100% on the mark and needs to be preached from every pulpit!



In His Love,
Suzanne

will women let men be the men that they are suppose to be and pray that they take up the mark or will they be little their husbands ?

we have also noticed this in Australia and i can only speak to what is going on in my country sadly the femi natzi movement has grown to were women have more of a role in our society and its also crept into the body gone are the days were men were men and women were women

today if a man speaks up he almost gets the evil eye just look at what goes on in this forum who is actualy doing the leading in this forum ?

i am around some good strong men and the men i am getting to know we are starting to pray that god brakes this cycle

my old pastor is not letting this happen he ups the men he also gets the men to stand up and gets the women to pray over the men


what puzzles me why has this happend to were women are seen as the head and the men are seen as the tail ?


my fiancee soon to be my wife who is also a female pastor does not do this were she looks down on me what she does is lift me up she encourages me and constantly prays over me to be the man that i am meant to be

when i was in the philippines in jan she told me that men in her country dont want to step up and take the challange the women have been praying that god will shake the men out of there comfort zones to were they start ussing the gifts god has given them


its not easy being a pastor a lot of responsabilty comes with the role its so easy to be judgmental while we are sitting on the side line i notice this a lot and i tend to stay clear from that judgmental spirit i see today i have to admit i use to get very judgmental especaily towards pastors but since i have seen what pastors have to put up with i tend to support pray and if i have to i will rebuke and but heads i am sort of protective over my fiancee and i am proud of her

i dont blame her i blame the way we have been brought up and raised


i notice their are some men well boys who hate women who have walked into these roles that were meant for men

but when i ask what are you doing and are you willing to make some changes to were you start stepping up to the mark ussing the gifts god has given you and you start to pray i almost get this feeling like i cant do it

today the new age guy has been accepted no longer is the real man accepted in our societys as if you tend to say you are a real man you are seen as an evil person or a pig or some one who hates women

what i am hearing women want a wimp a guy who is in touch with his feminen side women want a guy who will show true emotions some one who will listen to them and not just use them for the one thing


if you tend to agree with the post what are you willing to do are you willing to pray for the men in your church are you willing to surrender that argumentive spirit are you willing to step aside and alow god to do what he has to do ? no use saying i agree if you cant die to what i have said today their are women that think they can do what a guy can do

when i use to work in the building industry with my old man it was were men could be men until the women movement came in and were the union and bosses were told it was time for change i remember the first female brick layer and labourers they got given a hard time my old man and the men he worked with did not back of so easy


i am not a type of guy that looks down on women i owe a lot to the sisters that god put into my life the church i just left god put some good strong women around me the aborigonal and New zealand sisters encouraged me and did not judge me i shared who i was i use to be a violent man i also use to be violent towards women were i said i wil never be my old man wel i soon learnt that i could not live to my promise it was in my blood


were i prayed and asked god to put men around me as i found it hard to trust women after my divorce and what i had become some how the lord wanted me to trust him i got mad but i soon learnt why god put these women around me he wanted me to deal with what i had put my x wife threw and he wanted to show me that i wil be accepted and not hated as the adds i saw on tv really effected me i avoided talking to women in the farming community i settled in i would say hello and thats it my case manager was a female were i asked for a male i was given a female and she had the same first name and last name as my x wife when you are unemployed and out of work you are given a case manager they work with you and help you find a job

just because i support my fiancee who is a female pastor does not mean i dont understand what it means to be a real christian male as i said its the way we have been raised and what we have accepted i cant just walk in to the role as the head pastor my fiancee has worked hard to get to were she is know in her walk but i have been told i wil be rasied from with in and when i am ready and when i am comfterbal she will let me lead and alow me to preach right now she is head pastor and has seven pastors working under her and i am not going to say because paul preached from the old testament you need to step down

when i am working abroad and fellowshiping in the church i am in now i have no role in the church i am just a member thats it even though the head pastor and assistant pastor and elders and leaders know that my fiancee is a pastor in the philippines i said i dont want no special treatment to were i am placed in a leader ship role the church i am with is were i started my walk i have a lot to learn and i am learning also the members in the 5 churches my fiancee planted need to trust me and need to feel comfterbal i have been accepted and welcomed and look forward to preaching and working with the men in the new church my fiancee planted


i just thought i have my say since i am a male

i hope the sisters who belong to this forum do pray over there husbands and i hope that you encourage your husbands who are chrsitians to step up to the mark and be the men that god wants them to be with out be littling them and reminding them that they cant do what the men in the bible were doing

men are not suffering from gender confussion its the femi natzi movement that has a lot to answer for



God bless from damo

For those who care ... there is a really good book on the market called "Love and Respect." It's really written for married couples, but I think even singles who are entertaining the thought of marriage would benefit from it.

To men, respect is what it's all about. It's how they relate to each other and it's how they assess each other. Which is why wives are admonished to respect their husbands. Not easy for us womenfolk, which is why God has to command us to do so, as it doesn't come naturally to us.

Love, on the other hand, isn't something that comes naturally to men, which is why God has to command husbands to love their wives.

When we turn men into lovey-dovey wishy-washeys, and rob them of respect, they lose their gender identity (and rightful place in the home) instead of being given the strength and confidence they need to lead their homes. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband for his tenderness during those times he shows it, but I respect him for his strength and I know that I'm safe with him, as are our children. And when he does show his love towards me, it's easy to respect him. I also know that when I show him respect, it's easy for him to love me. It turns into an upward spiral that becomes better and better. Just like lack of love and respect from both sides can turn into a downward spiral that just gets worse and worse. And, in the end, it's our choice. Obey God's Word, regardless of how we're inclined to feel, or not.

A wife who emasculates her husband through disrespect isn't going to find herself well protected. A husband who fails to love his wife isn't going to have the support he needs from her. It's a two-way street, and for a true partnership to happen, it's important to have both.

On the other hand, stop blaming the "feminists." Many of them were/are unloved women that are trying to get back at unloving males to protect themselves from becoming hurt again. Have some mercy and show them some grace, and please stop judging them; rather obey your God and set the example so they can see how it's done. It's never too late to turn the tide if we do it God's way.

Just my 2 cents because I've seen it in my own marriage. God is always right. Go figure.

Well, actually, it wasn’t the “Woman’s Movement” that was the culprit; this is a misnomer… in its truest sense it was the “Lesbian Movement” which from the start intentionally sought to redefined both heterosexual male and female roles; and Lesbian activists were the primary vanguards who provided the anti-traditional leadership in “(Anti-) Feminism” to destroy the tenets of all traditional relationships having their rudimentary and essential roots in Biblical principles and the Divine Order. Consequently, Feminism killed “Femininity” and stole it from heterosexual women under the guise of “self-empowerment” to bring about “gender equality” but backfired making women “defeminized” to be “like” men (that which they hated), while simultaneously demonizing the male element as “Male Chauvinist Pigs” and assaulting the heterosexual male on every level in the quest to attain “emasculation”. Hence, the precipitation of the state of “lost manhood” subsequently emerged. All along the covert and stealth Lesbian strategic agenda was to incrementally thrust into the mainstream the acceptance of Lesbianism and Homosexuality while simultaneously degrading the traditional roles into a perception of primitive, antiquated and archaic relational modes out of step with Modernity and an emergent “New Society”.

So the real question is how do men regain their True Masculinity and women regain their True Femininity?

It is through Christ and the “Image of God” that True Man and True Woman is genuinely found and appropriated by the “broken image”, healing it.

-7

The "problem" is what has been found in our water supply.

http://www.bandersnatch.com/feminine.htm

I don't know about other states, but in California, the only men that have any interest in marraige, are the gay guys. They desperately want to marry each other.

the water down under is fine i have no desire to chase after men lol and did not have this desire when i was born

i am a normal guy with no mixed x or y cells as the homosexuals like to use as a deffence to live the life styles they are so use to

i like being around women and god has given me a good women lol when god formed adam out of the dust of this earth and then formed eve out of his rib he new what he was doing

god did not for adam and steve he formed adam and eve


it must be the drugs these gays are so use to taking like herroin lsd coccaine speed and pot


God bless from damo

Would finding "true manhood" not start with acknowledging that there is a hood to begin with?

–noun
1. a soft or flexible covering for the head and neck, either separate or attached to a cloak, coat, or the like.
2. something resembling or suggesting such a covering, esp. in shape, as certain petals or sepals.
3. the hinged, movable part of an automobile body covering the engine.
4. British. the roof of a carriage.
5. a metal cover or canopy for a stove, ventilator, etc.
6. Falconry. a cover for the entire head of a hawk, used when the bird is not in pursuit of game.
7. an ornamental ruffle or fold on the back of the shoulders of an academic gown, jurist's robe, etc.
8. a crest or band of color on the head of certain birds and animals.
–verb (used with object)
9. to furnish with a hood.
10. to cover with or as if with a hood.

Please do expand on this. I find it interesting. I know in the Bible it says the Lord is the covering for man and man is the covering for woman, like a hood. Would love to see more discussion about this.

Exactly, the perfect example of true manhood is Jesus, and not lust.

Very wise counsel, Looking Up. Very good post!


In His Love,
Suzanne