Full Version: Experiencing God.
Ive posted recently on a few topics since I joined today and posted my reason for straying from God. I see so many testimonies of God revealing himself to people, Jesus revealing himself to people and coming into their life. I ask why not me? I have experienced nothing that can't be explained b natural circumstances, or a stong desire for something to be true on my part. At the point in my life I most needed God to be there, I experienced nothing. I lived 18 months in constant fear, and brought death upon other human beings. Not out of pleasure or desire, out of fear of losing my own life. Any evidence anyone has for me of God is a "personal experience" I say its not fair if God exists that I do not get a personal experience. Ive been told I probably didnt recognize what it was when it was given to me. THAT IS NOT FAIR. If God is fair everyone should get a sign or experience they recognize as definitive proof, but that is not the case. Otherwise I would still be a belever myself. All I recieved for being a believer was death rape and killing IN HIS NAME. Should I just say things like "I got a promotion that was God". if thats the case why doesn't the suffering Iraqi kid get reprieve when he asks God for it, but me, in my currently stable life am granted a job promotion by his will, that I probably could have done without? I have come to a personal conclusion that if there is a God and thats a really big if, he/she has nothing to do with our day to day life. I am here looking for that proof to steer me back, or reaffirmation of my current belief. I am sorry but personal experieces do not count, because they are subject to ones own delusion or wish and not admissable as evidence. God gave doubting thomas his proof, why not me!
QUOTE (TSD @ Aug 16 2008, 12:13 AM) 
Ive posted recently on a few topics since I joined today and posted my reason for straying from God. I see so many testimonies of God revealing himself to people, Jesus revealing himself to people and coming into their life. I ask why not me? I have experienced nothing that can't be explained b natural circumstances, or a stong desire for something to be true on my part. At the point in my life I most needed God to be there, I experienced nothing. I lived 18 months in constant fear, and brought death upon other human beings. Not out of pleasure or desire, out of fear of losing my own life. Any evidence anyone has for me of God is a "personal experience" I say its not fair if God exists that I do not get a personal experience. Ive been told I probably didnt recognize what it was when it was given to me. THAT IS NOT FAIR. If God is fair everyone should get a sign or experience they recognize as definitive proof, but that is not the case. Otherwise I would still be a belever myself. All I recieved for being a believer was death rape and killing IN HIS NAME. Should I just say things like "I got a promotion that was God". if thats the case why doesn't the suffering Iraqi kid get reprieve when he asks God for it, but me, in my currently stable life am granted a job promotion by his will, that I probably could have done without? I have come to a personal conclusion that if there is a God and thats a really big if, he/she has nothing to do with our day to day life. I am here looking for that proof to steer me back, or reaffirmation of my current belief. I am sorry but personal experieces do not count, because they are subject to ones own delusion or wish and not admissable as evidence. God gave doubting thomas his proof, why not me!
it will happen dont force God or Question God
we are all diffrent you need to learn to be still and listen to that inner voice
i am like you when God convicted me i had no visitation or did the earth shake or did i have an angel appear before me
i too Questioned god like you what have i done to deserve you reject me lord why are you avoiding me lord al i want lord is an honest answer lord if i am to say you are lord over my life then i need some hard proof other wise i wil not believe what a pastor or christian has to say
Jesus says living this life is not going to be easy and being a christian is not as simple as many seem to think
yes its not fair that god is responding to you but dont give up
i too ran back to my old life two steps forward and 4 steps backwards i did this since i was 18yrs old i am nearly 41yrs old and i tend not to make the same mistakes
have you thought of looking at what is preventing god from answering your request ? sometimes the walls we put around us will prevent God from responding
one thing i learnt too dont believe in everything you hear
give it time i fought God when i was 18yrs old i gave the christians and my pastor a hard time god wanted to respond though it was me preventing him from responding i am only seeing this know i have like a diary and i have been going over my diary i am know able to see were i prevented God from responding
i am like you i do not have all the answers and i wil not lie to you or feed you some rubbish so you see me as some wise Guy i am not like this i am a very humble man and dont tend to look to men but too god
may i ask what you are expecting god to do please dont think that i am judging what you have left hear are you wanting the earth to shake are you praying for a visitation are you wanting God to show up since you stated in another members post that was old that you tried other religons and stated that you use to be a catholic i sort of picked up on something but i want you to tel me did you use to serve in the army ?
so what are you expecting god to respond to since you feel he ows you something as you feel he is letting you down by not responding
when god convicted me i had my hand around the throat of a drug dealer and was about to snuff his lights out al i needed was to squeeze one more time as i could see he was loosing his breath and he was finding it hard to breath his mate was begging me to let go and just walk away but i was not willing to let go and just walk away after what he did to a mate of mine he wet him self which showed me he was not the thug he thought he was but the folk in this town were al scared of him even the cops this is were it all changed for me all i heard was this let him go sevral times i heard this voice to the point were i had no choice but to let him go
if you feel that you are going to find the truth hear think twice you need to be around real people who can respond christian forums are good if you are strong in your walk ther are good people hear and i like the members i have met though there are members hear also who wil have you question what christ has done in your life
i wil pray that god puts good strong christians around you
sorry for not really answering your question i just wanted you to see that i did read what you have left
God bless from damo
QUOTE (TSD @ Aug 15 2008, 08:46 PM)
Good Story above. Sorry to hijack the thread in a means of speaking, but I can't post a new topic and I am struggling. I suppose this isnt a post of how I became a christian but more of how I stopped being one. I am not tring to Antagonize anyone I am looking for direction and anything that can bring me back, but I have not found it. Now on to my story.
I was a christian since Birth (Catholic to be more specific), I never had any problem with faith, never had any problem believing. Then on September 11th, the world changed, I as an avid patriot took up Arms to defend my country and religion. I was not deployed to a combat zone until august of 2004, Iraq.
War is where I lost my faith in God. I am going to be brutally honest here, I have killed men women and children. "Ethics" kind of fly out the door when your being shot at and the people shooting at you look no different from the non- combatants. When my life was in danger I engaged anyone who didnt have an american flag on their shoulder, with no remorse, it was as easy as swatting a fly. It's funny how before then I couldn't even imagine taking another human's life, but in defense of my own I didnt care who I was killing, as long as anyone I precieved as a possible threat was dead. Then after an initial action I would break down after realizing what I had done, only to do it again to the point I know longer broke down. I was cold.
At this point I turned to my faith, should I be better? Should I accept death over my will to survive as not to betray my morals? God did not reveal himself to me and show me the way, I was empty. There was nothing. I was fighting individuals who had a deep belief in what they were doing, they were fighting for God. We, for the most part, were winning. We had losses, one of my best friends in my unit was killed. At this point I was in a pickle, I asked God to reveal to me why this is happening. Why he could accept and yet condone this destruction. God can stop it at any time yet he doesn't he lets people assume they are killing in his favor! Be it Muslims or Christians, our superiors and chaplains were no better, they would reinforce that we were doing Gods work. Does God want me to kill children and women? Mind you I am not saying I was wrong, I was put in a situation and I did what I had to, to stay alive.
Eventually I came home. I threw myself into coming up with answers to what I had done, and why it would be allowed to happen to begin with. I lost my faith in God. I will shorten a long story here and say: I looked for the answers. I found that most of the new testament was written long after jesus death and second hand at best, and hardly anything (with few exceptions) in the bible has any other source other than the bible, to me that is unacceptable to constitute valid history. Even with multiple sources, pieces of history(aside from the bible) from antiquity are hard to piece into absolute fact.
Then I looked to other religions, only to stay further away, as most believe their religion is the "right" religion. Why would God do this? Why would God put some people by default at a disadvantage to those who were brought up to believe X religion is right? To elaborate my point if christianity is correct, why would God allow, for example, hinduism to exist, as children adhere to what their authorities tell them. They would be destined for hell for what they believe whereas a child born and raised chrisitian would be destined for heaven. If there is any doubt as to how much other religions believe I need only look at my experience in Iraq to prove that there are countless muslms willing to throw away their life doing what they believe is the work of God. I have been told it all, Satan tainted them to believe this etc. How am I supposed to believe that? Why could they not see satan has fooled them? Why would GOd all satan to fool them.
Frankly, i am sick and tired of the "Its Gods plan" or "God works in mysterious ways" comments. I just can't believe it anymore. God stood by and watched one of his faithful fall without so much as a hint of a shove back into the light. I could go into more detail but as of this point I am an atheist. God was not there when I needed him most. I was abandoned, in my quest I came to the conclusion, that this is because nobody is there watching me. I don't mean to be callus, to berate anyone I am sure you get plenty of people who come on here to attack you. I am just looking for an answer, I went through an experience I wish upon no person, and I am looking for a reason why. Why God would let me do such a thing which I could not have known about, when I thought I was defending my way of life. End of Story. please respond.
I was a christian since Birth (Catholic to be more specific), I never had any problem with faith, never had any problem believing. Then on September 11th, the world changed, I as an avid patriot took up Arms to defend my country and religion. I was not deployed to a combat zone until august of 2004, Iraq.
War is where I lost my faith in God. I am going to be brutally honest here, I have killed men women and children. "Ethics" kind of fly out the door when your being shot at and the people shooting at you look no different from the non- combatants. When my life was in danger I engaged anyone who didnt have an american flag on their shoulder, with no remorse, it was as easy as swatting a fly. It's funny how before then I couldn't even imagine taking another human's life, but in defense of my own I didnt care who I was killing, as long as anyone I precieved as a possible threat was dead. Then after an initial action I would break down after realizing what I had done, only to do it again to the point I know longer broke down. I was cold.
At this point I turned to my faith, should I be better? Should I accept death over my will to survive as not to betray my morals? God did not reveal himself to me and show me the way, I was empty. There was nothing. I was fighting individuals who had a deep belief in what they were doing, they were fighting for God. We, for the most part, were winning. We had losses, one of my best friends in my unit was killed. At this point I was in a pickle, I asked God to reveal to me why this is happening. Why he could accept and yet condone this destruction. God can stop it at any time yet he doesn't he lets people assume they are killing in his favor! Be it Muslims or Christians, our superiors and chaplains were no better, they would reinforce that we were doing Gods work. Does God want me to kill children and women? Mind you I am not saying I was wrong, I was put in a situation and I did what I had to, to stay alive.
Eventually I came home. I threw myself into coming up with answers to what I had done, and why it would be allowed to happen to begin with. I lost my faith in God. I will shorten a long story here and say: I looked for the answers. I found that most of the new testament was written long after jesus death and second hand at best, and hardly anything (with few exceptions) in the bible has any other source other than the bible, to me that is unacceptable to constitute valid history. Even with multiple sources, pieces of history(aside from the bible) from antiquity are hard to piece into absolute fact.
Then I looked to other religions, only to stay further away, as most believe their religion is the "right" religion. Why would God do this? Why would God put some people by default at a disadvantage to those who were brought up to believe X religion is right? To elaborate my point if christianity is correct, why would God allow, for example, hinduism to exist, as children adhere to what their authorities tell them. They would be destined for hell for what they believe whereas a child born and raised chrisitian would be destined for heaven. If there is any doubt as to how much other religions believe I need only look at my experience in Iraq to prove that there are countless muslms willing to throw away their life doing what they believe is the work of God. I have been told it all, Satan tainted them to believe this etc. How am I supposed to believe that? Why could they not see satan has fooled them? Why would GOd all satan to fool them.
Frankly, i am sick and tired of the "Its Gods plan" or "God works in mysterious ways" comments. I just can't believe it anymore. God stood by and watched one of his faithful fall without so much as a hint of a shove back into the light. I could go into more detail but as of this point I am an atheist. God was not there when I needed him most. I was abandoned, in my quest I came to the conclusion, that this is because nobody is there watching me. I don't mean to be callus, to berate anyone I am sure you get plenty of people who come on here to attack you. I am just looking for an answer, I went through an experience I wish upon no person, and I am looking for a reason why. Why God would let me do such a thing which I could not have known about, when I thought I was defending my way of life. End of Story. please respond.
Hello TSD, welcome to the forum!
Hope you don't mind, I brought this from another thread...I feel more comftorable answering/responding to your posting in this (your own) thread.
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with war. What you have gone through is bound to affect a person. I cannot pretend to comprehend what you have endured. It sounds horrifying, to say the least. My placations are not going to immediately resolve your questions either, this is obvious. Yet you have asked for response and because I am christian, my respones will reflect those belief's.
First of all I want you to understand; my beliefs are not found within typical mainstream christianity. My beliefs come from my own personal study of God's word as well as much prayer and receiving revelation from God Himself. My own personal testimony (in a nutshell)(my testimony is in this section too) is that due to pain and grief, I too decided to become atheist. Basically, I was angry with God for allowing me to suffer the things which I suffered...my only recourse was to dismiss Him to the best of my ability. During this period of time in my life however, I found it became increasingly difficult to maintain the callousness towards God and slowly became more of an agnostic, rather than an atheist.
My eyes were not opened to the many interventions and proofs of God's existence within my own life, until I (by faith), acknowledged God's existence and repented of my sins. It was at this time that I could look back on my life and see the fingerprint of God, as well as experience His direct presence in my life. Our perspective and expectations will definitely affect our ability to accept that God exists or no. My hugest advice is this...*if* you are genuinely *open* to God existing, try to understand that each individual's understanding of God will vary. This does not mean that God is schizophrenic or that singular truths about God cannot be found...but as humans, our understanding of God is limited (due to the fact that we are finite-limited beings). I'm still learning about God, and no doubt will continue forever learning about God.
Concerning war....from my study and relationship with God; I believe He understands that soldiers are called to follow the orders of their superiors. War is a consequence of a fallen world. God holds leaders to a higher degree of scrutiny because they are the ones who call the shots (so to speak). This does not excuse soldiers who go *beyond* the bounds of defense/offense. I'm aware that there are some who enjoy the business of killing and/or enjoy needless killings and violence. My own personal opinion is that unless a country itself is being invaded, there should be no reason for war. I also believe that our leaders (USA) will be held accountable for the lives (on both sides) and their justifications for going to war. Given the degree of deceptiveness of leaders, it stands to reason that they could possibly make up lies and excuses to righteously justify their call to war....and with that in mind I also believe that a soldier could be completely justified by refusing to participate in war...due to conscience' sake.
God is firstly and foremost, a lover of life. The very fact that anyone has their existence, including the outrageously huge amount of varied life forms gives evidence to that fact.
In order for us to entertain the thoughts of "why does God allow this or that?" we must also recognize that *if* these things were not allowed, then the individuals would be *forced* to behave in ways they would not want to...in other words, we would have a society of automotons on our hands! If society at large can recognize that certain behaviors are *wrong*, it also stands to reason that God would have a *standard* too. Simply because there is evil in society does not mean that God is evil. Your kids for instance, may not *always* obey you, but this does not mean neccessarily that you didn't teach them the right way.
Concerning the various religions and the implications of that...I firmly believe that God looks upon each individual heart. Although it is grievious that so much variety exists concerning the beliefs of God, this in and of itself does not define who God is or imply that God approves it....without free will, you have automotons. Yes, each nation has their own culture and influences and surely God takes that into account! There are many self-righteous people who hold God to a tight and tidy little box, believing that a vast majority of people will be excluded simply because they didn't confess Jesus Christ as Lord in their lifetime before death. God is not confined to this...but I do believe that either way, whether in this life or the next, every person will have the opportunity to know and understand the truth and will be faced with the choice of submitting themselves to God or not. Those who have been given much truth in this life, much more will be required of them upon their death. God is a mericful and just God...He is no respector of persons. I'm not negating the judgment/lake of fire of God either...this will also be played out for those who (according to God's wisdom), deserve it.
Concerning your belief that there is not much evidence to support the bible, I think this depends upon each person's bias. There are plenty of websites as well as evidence which supports the history of the bible. But I'm sure there are just as many who dismiss these evidences or bring them under over-zealous scrutiny. I guess my only advice would be...try to remain open to both sides and make up your own mind.
I cannot make up your mind for you, nor do I desire to dismiss your dilemma. I do understand having unanswered questions and also have experienced the feeling that God had abandoned me. Even with my degree of faith, I still experience times of lonliness and wonderings of why God allows me to endure certain things. But one thing I am absolutely sure of is this...God is completely blameless in His doings. Whether I understand or not, I also know that God works all things for good, for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The most painful thing in my life, although I do not believe it was God's will for it to happen...God took this terrible thing and turned it around for good...He brought me closer to Him and I am very grateful for that.
I'll leave you with these alternate thoughts....
you cannot see love and you cannot see the wind...yet you know these exist. When all is said and done, the servant as well as the mighty will end up in the grave...death comes to both alike. Until that time comes, it makes obvious sense to be prepared and know beyond a doubt who our Maker is and what He expects from us.
God bless you,
Kim
TSD,
As always, I'll point out I have no answers to your questions. I struggle enough sometimes with answers to my own!
I am glad IAMlives brought the other post here as I missed it before. You could well be my nephew for all I know as your story is similar to his except he isn't Catholic. His best friend was killed beside him while riding in a truck in Iraq. He experienced many things I reckon he will never forget. I am sorry for the things you have been through. Do you feel God has not forgiven you? Or is it that you have not forgiven yourself. I find I struggle with this alot, though for different things obviously! How can God forgive me when I can't forgive me? I can tell you I feel sorry for you all who fight these wars. My nephew, my own husband even who is headed back their again next week. He was out there when Sept. 11 happened and again during the start of the war. It is tough! What you did you did because you were trained to do so. You did your job and I don't know how to comfort you beyond that thought. *hugs* to you TSD.
Mel
P.S.
As always, I'll point out I have no answers to your questions. I struggle enough sometimes with answers to my own!
I am glad IAMlives brought the other post here as I missed it before. You could well be my nephew for all I know as your story is similar to his except he isn't Catholic. His best friend was killed beside him while riding in a truck in Iraq. He experienced many things I reckon he will never forget. I am sorry for the things you have been through. Do you feel God has not forgiven you? Or is it that you have not forgiven yourself. I find I struggle with this alot, though for different things obviously! How can God forgive me when I can't forgive me? I can tell you I feel sorry for you all who fight these wars. My nephew, my own husband even who is headed back their again next week. He was out there when Sept. 11 happened and again during the start of the war. It is tough! What you did you did because you were trained to do so. You did your job and I don't know how to comfort you beyond that thought. *hugs* to you TSD.
Mel
P.S.
QUOTE
I cannot make up your mind for you, nor do I desire to dismiss your dilemma. I do understand having unanswered questions and also have experienced the feeling that God had abandoned me. Even with my degree of faith, I still experience times of lonliness and wonderings of why God allows me to endure certain things. But one thing I am absolutely sure of is this...God is completely blameless in His doings. Whether I understand or not, I also know that God works all things for good, for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The most painful thing in my life, although I do not believe it was God's will for it to happen...God took this terrible thing and turned it around for good...He brought me closer to Him and I am very grateful for that.
Thank you IAMlives, I think you have read my own heart in writing this.
To TSD
i have been reading your comments you have left in certain posts i also grew up in a war torn country my dad and my fathers father and his brothers all served in the croation army and now my brother is a croation soldier he deicided to stay while my old man said he wanted to move to a better place were we can get a fresh start
i am the only one that did not serve in the army though if i decided like my brother to stay and live in yugoslavia i would know be an active soldier
as i said in my responce i left you TSD you need to pulll those wall down God wil respond but not to the way you are expecting him to respond
like what you shared my brother and my father and his father and my fathers 5 brothers have all served in the croation army and they have killed many serbs yes i know what you have gone threw and what you are dealing with
god can take that pain you are feeling though you need to decide TSD
i have christian friends who are soldiers its something they decided to do and these guys share the gospel when they get the chance and are not under fire or serving in iraq or were ever they may be called to serve
the trainer who is running the security course that i am doing know is an x soldier and so is the other trainer
i am getting to know my trainer and i have opened up to him and told him about my past he listens to what i have to say he is know taking medication to help him function he suffers and has night mares the two trainers are very good teachers i am learning a lot from the two trainers
but i dont come down on men and women who have served in the army and navy i dont tend to read from web sites what its like for a soldier i have seen dead bodies and i have had to dodge land mines and traps that were set up by the serbs
as i said i wil pray that god puts christians around you
its up to youTSD And as i said i have not got all the answers or wil i lie to you
God bless from damo
i have been reading your comments you have left in certain posts i also grew up in a war torn country my dad and my fathers father and his brothers all served in the croation army and now my brother is a croation soldier he deicided to stay while my old man said he wanted to move to a better place were we can get a fresh start
i am the only one that did not serve in the army though if i decided like my brother to stay and live in yugoslavia i would know be an active soldier
as i said in my responce i left you TSD you need to pulll those wall down God wil respond but not to the way you are expecting him to respond
like what you shared my brother and my father and his father and my fathers 5 brothers have all served in the croation army and they have killed many serbs yes i know what you have gone threw and what you are dealing with
god can take that pain you are feeling though you need to decide TSD
i have christian friends who are soldiers its something they decided to do and these guys share the gospel when they get the chance and are not under fire or serving in iraq or were ever they may be called to serve
the trainer who is running the security course that i am doing know is an x soldier and so is the other trainer
i am getting to know my trainer and i have opened up to him and told him about my past he listens to what i have to say he is know taking medication to help him function he suffers and has night mares the two trainers are very good teachers i am learning a lot from the two trainers
but i dont come down on men and women who have served in the army and navy i dont tend to read from web sites what its like for a soldier i have seen dead bodies and i have had to dodge land mines and traps that were set up by the serbs
as i said i wil pray that god puts christians around you
its up to youTSD And as i said i have not got all the answers or wil i lie to you
God bless from damo
Thanks for the kind thoughts Meli, that means a lot! I too have had loved ones serve in Iraq. This war has been a hard road to tow for many. 
blessings to you and yours!
Kim
blessings to you and yours!
Kim
damo,
I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through!...that's tough. But I'm glad you were spared and found your way to this forum...you're a blessing here.
Take care!
Kim
I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through!...that's tough. But I'm glad you were spared and found your way to this forum...you're a blessing here.
Take care!
Kim
QUOTE (TSD @ Aug 15 2008, 11:13 PM)
Ive posted recently on a few topics since I joined today and posted my reason for straying from God. I see so many testimonies of God revealing himself to people, Jesus revealing himself to people and coming into their life. I ask why not me? I have experienced nothing that can't be explained b natural circumstances, or a stong desire for something to be true on my part. At the point in my life I most needed God to be there, I experienced nothing. I lived 18 months in constant fear, and brought death upon other human beings. Not out of pleasure or desire, out of fear of losing my own life. Any evidence anyone has for me of God is a "personal experience" I say its not fair if God exists that I do not get a personal experience. Ive been told I probably didnt recognize what it was when it was given to me. THAT IS NOT FAIR. If God is fair everyone should get a sign or experience they recognize as definitive proof, but that is not the case. Otherwise I would still be a belever myself. All I recieved for being a believer was death rape and killing IN HIS NAME. Should I just say things like "I got a promotion that was God". if thats the case why doesn't the suffering Iraqi kid get reprieve when he asks God for it, but me, in my currently stable life am granted a job promotion by his will, that I probably could have done without? I have come to a personal conclusion that if there is a God and thats a really big if, he/she has nothing to do with our day to day life. I am here looking for that proof to steer me back, or reaffirmation of my current belief. I am sorry but personal experieces do not count, because they are subject to ones own delusion or wish and not admissable as evidence. God gave doubting thomas his proof, why not me!
There is of course no hard and fast answer to such a question. God works differently with people as He sees fit. We have differing challenges to face. Any encounter with God will come as a result of the will of God. A lack of an intimate encounter does not equal a lack of love on God's part, but simply another type of testing. One may think that only the hares get to win races. One may have to think again!
<><
John
QUOTE (IAMlives @ Aug 16 2008, 06:47 PM)
damo,
I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through!...that's tough. But I'm glad you were spared and found your way to this forum...you're a blessing here.
Take care!
Kim
I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through!...that's tough. But I'm glad you were spared and found your way to this forum...you're a blessing here.
Take care!
Kim
thank you kim i owe were i am to god he has healed me and helped me let go of what i experianced i can say i am lucky to have encountered the lord to were i did not end up on medication like my trainer who runs the security courses for men and women intrested in getting work in the security industry he did not have to say that he suffers and has problems it was brave of him to say this to a group of strangers
i use to have bad nightmares kim dont know if it was grieving to be home or why i was getting these bad nightmares when ever i hear of war i feel for the kids and the women and the older folk
i feel for the men and women who come back from serving in iraq i tend to know what they have experianced and some how i tend to not judge but pray that they come to the relisation that god and god alone can set them free from what they did and observed while serving in the front line
my dad turned to alcahol to num what he experianced and so did his father and his brothers know i pray that the lord puts christians who are serving in the army in my brothers path he is a snipper and he is very good at what he does my brother has seen things i would not wish on no one he lost all his friends he went to school with our village in osijeku is a close nit community were you know every one
i wished that my brother said he wanted to leave when my dad said to him we were moving to australia though i can see why he stayed
and the lord can do the same for TSD if he lets go of what he is holding on to
we need to cover this brother in prayer only god can take TSD pain
bless you kim for your kind words
God bless from damo
TSD I was once in your boat, however I always believed, but I never put him first. I was born to a Methodist mother, and a Catholic father; baptized Methodist, but never attended church (except weddings and funerals), and attended Catholic school till I was 10. I truly believed in the basic turths (Father, Son, Holy Ghost, commandments, Heaven, Bible etc.), and I prayed every single night, but nothing ever happenned; no proof, no miracles, and as I entered teenagehood other things preoccupied my time.
Last October things got weird on me. I started getting attacked spiritually. Scary things like people out of the blue bursting in to laughter when they would look at me, and people at work saying things to me that I did in the privacy of my own home, or thought in my head that no one could possibly know. Poltergeist like things objects falling etc started happenning around me. People just coming up to me just to tell me off or cuss me out, and weird thoughts would pop in my head convicting me for everything I said or did. Then my health went to heck in a handbasket.
I didn't know what was happenning, I heard of spiritual attacks before, but it was weeks before I started adding 2 and 2. I think God led me to seek out what was happenning to me, and in a way it was for a good reason; because when I realized what was happenning to me; it made me examine why I was so vulnerable, and I ended up in tears begging for Jesus to take me back, by not making him my guide in life I had no armor, and in the past few months; I've had peace, and blessings. Blessings galore. My health I would say is almost better than it ever was too!
Last October things got weird on me. I started getting attacked spiritually. Scary things like people out of the blue bursting in to laughter when they would look at me, and people at work saying things to me that I did in the privacy of my own home, or thought in my head that no one could possibly know. Poltergeist like things objects falling etc started happenning around me. People just coming up to me just to tell me off or cuss me out, and weird thoughts would pop in my head convicting me for everything I said or did. Then my health went to heck in a handbasket.
I didn't know what was happenning, I heard of spiritual attacks before, but it was weeks before I started adding 2 and 2. I think God led me to seek out what was happenning to me, and in a way it was for a good reason; because when I realized what was happenning to me; it made me examine why I was so vulnerable, and I ended up in tears begging for Jesus to take me back, by not making him my guide in life I had no armor, and in the past few months; I've had peace, and blessings. Blessings galore. My health I would say is almost better than it ever was too!
Dear TSD,
I thank the Lord that you came here.. not because we can answer your questions, but because we can point you in the right direction..
You have sought the Lord and not found Him.. do not stop.. continue until you do.
Do not trust yourself.. our hearts are deceitful....
I dare say, that while many of us here have not done the same as you we have all committed crimes against our fellowman and against God in our own hearts.. we were none the less guilty..
Our God is FULL of mercy and loving kindness.. and will forgive.. and grant peace..
as I said, continue seeking! in continuing, you will prove to yourself and the Lord that you are sincere
and again, I am glad you came here.. there are many prayer warriors who will plead for our Father to bind the spiritual darkeness that surrounds you.. and grant you open eyes and and ears that hear.. a heart that will receive His truth.. and deliverance .. into the precious, everlasting arms of the One who loves you more than life itself..
HE is worthy of that trust..
TDS, you are being bathed in prayer.. submit, trust, turn from unbelief, HE will lift you up
Love, and appreciation for you..
HE IS Faithful
I thank the Lord that you came here.. not because we can answer your questions, but because we can point you in the right direction..
You have sought the Lord and not found Him.. do not stop.. continue until you do.
Do not trust yourself.. our hearts are deceitful....
I dare say, that while many of us here have not done the same as you we have all committed crimes against our fellowman and against God in our own hearts.. we were none the less guilty..
Our God is FULL of mercy and loving kindness.. and will forgive.. and grant peace..
as I said, continue seeking! in continuing, you will prove to yourself and the Lord that you are sincere
and again, I am glad you came here.. there are many prayer warriors who will plead for our Father to bind the spiritual darkeness that surrounds you.. and grant you open eyes and and ears that hear.. a heart that will receive His truth.. and deliverance .. into the precious, everlasting arms of the One who loves you more than life itself..
HE is worthy of that trust..
TDS, you are being bathed in prayer.. submit, trust, turn from unbelief, HE will lift you up
Love, and appreciation for you..
HE IS Faithful
He is faithful pointed out what I forgot to add. Seek him out! I did, and I found my way to him.
TSD,
I hope that you are still with us. We cannot demand that God show us this or that. After all He is God. (He is the potter and we are the clay). In the book of Job, Job had to undergo terrible sufferings although he was righteous. God never told Job why he had to undergo all that (although Job questioned) and Job had his friends think he had done something wrong etc. However, look at how important Job's sufferings had been to us now for those of us who are suffering or feeling abandoned by God. The book has helped me and I believe will continue to help me and others in the future. God seldom answers our prayers in the way we want or expect Him to. And God does not always answer our questions.
Although we cannot demand that God show us this or that, we can however continously plead to God with a sincere heart for Him to give us faith to believe Him. I knew when I was born again and was undergoing some doubts as to whether I really was truly a Christian, there was 1 thing that I would certainly do for the rest of my life. That is I will continously seek Him and never give up. The bible (Luke 9 :24) says "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. I'm willing to continously plead with Him and do that for the rest of my life if I ever feel that I was not saved. That means I'm willing to spend my whole life to be taken of as a fool to seek God even if others think that God do not exist or that the bible is contradictory or not true. I'm willing to sacrifice this life to seek God with no guarantee of success. Are you willing to do that? The bible (John 6:40) also says that For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. There are verses in the bible that tells us to seek Him and if we seek Him, He will not cast out (example Isaiah 55, 56). I hold onto these promises and others.
Also, I believe that the way to be saved is by grace through faith and not through works and that Jesus is the only one. That means I pray to Jesus and not through others such as Mary. Others may disagree with my last sentence but this is my belief and is what's in the bible.
I hope that you are still with us. We cannot demand that God show us this or that. After all He is God. (He is the potter and we are the clay). In the book of Job, Job had to undergo terrible sufferings although he was righteous. God never told Job why he had to undergo all that (although Job questioned) and Job had his friends think he had done something wrong etc. However, look at how important Job's sufferings had been to us now for those of us who are suffering or feeling abandoned by God. The book has helped me and I believe will continue to help me and others in the future. God seldom answers our prayers in the way we want or expect Him to. And God does not always answer our questions.
Although we cannot demand that God show us this or that, we can however continously plead to God with a sincere heart for Him to give us faith to believe Him. I knew when I was born again and was undergoing some doubts as to whether I really was truly a Christian, there was 1 thing that I would certainly do for the rest of my life. That is I will continously seek Him and never give up. The bible (Luke 9 :24) says "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. I'm willing to continously plead with Him and do that for the rest of my life if I ever feel that I was not saved. That means I'm willing to spend my whole life to be taken of as a fool to seek God even if others think that God do not exist or that the bible is contradictory or not true. I'm willing to sacrifice this life to seek God with no guarantee of success. Are you willing to do that? The bible (John 6:40) also says that For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. There are verses in the bible that tells us to seek Him and if we seek Him, He will not cast out (example Isaiah 55, 56). I hold onto these promises and others.
Also, I believe that the way to be saved is by grace through faith and not through works and that Jesus is the only one. That means I pray to Jesus and not through others such as Mary. Others may disagree with my last sentence but this is my belief and is what's in the bible.
TSD, thank you for your difficult testimony. I will pray for you.
In our search for God, it is a hard thing to look upon people's behavior and reconcile that with the thought of a loving, caring God who is involved in our lives. I don't blame you for your doubts and for your questioning. As a matter of fact, I would encourage both, because being honest with ourselves and the way we really feel and think is a big step to lead us to God. He is not threatened by your doubts, nor by your questions, nor even by accusations of Him being unfair. God fully understands the whole spread of human emotions and thought processes, and He is not threatened by any of them. Although God isn't fair (which is subjective), but He is just (which is objective, as He sees things we cannot, and bases His decisions on the complete picture, and not upon what we think He should). We also often attribute something to God, according to our own fancy, that He may or may not necessarily have anything to do with.
Many of us think that God can just willy-nilly intervene and fix things, and we often blame Him when He does not.
We forget that God has to work with, and through, people. People who often have their own selfish agendas and fears and attitudes and can be very uncooperative indeed. We forget that when He gave Adam and Eve authority over creation, He meant that, and has never changed His mind about it. So it is up to every person to decide for ourselves how we are going to behave and treat one another. Our wills may not always be truly "free" due to them being influenced by various things, but our ability to make decisions is God-given, period. He would not be able to judge anyone justly, if we did not have that ability.
Do you not think God grieves when people lose their lives and suffer due to someone else's behavior? He surely does. But again, He can do nothing if people do not cooperate. He can only intervene if someone gives Him room to do so, be that through prayer as we intercede for one another, or as He places us directly into a situation.
Do not lose heart. We live on a sinful planet where people can do horrific things to one another. Which is why followers of Jesus are called to love, compassion and kindness, first of all. Being born Catholic does not make you a follower of Christ, necessarily. You must seek Him for yourself and accept His sacrifice for you by a decision of your own, and by using that measure of faith that God has given to all of us. There are no second-hand Christians, and God does not have grandchildren, He only has children.
In our search for God, it is a hard thing to look upon people's behavior and reconcile that with the thought of a loving, caring God who is involved in our lives. I don't blame you for your doubts and for your questioning. As a matter of fact, I would encourage both, because being honest with ourselves and the way we really feel and think is a big step to lead us to God. He is not threatened by your doubts, nor by your questions, nor even by accusations of Him being unfair. God fully understands the whole spread of human emotions and thought processes, and He is not threatened by any of them. Although God isn't fair (which is subjective), but He is just (which is objective, as He sees things we cannot, and bases His decisions on the complete picture, and not upon what we think He should). We also often attribute something to God, according to our own fancy, that He may or may not necessarily have anything to do with.
Many of us think that God can just willy-nilly intervene and fix things, and we often blame Him when He does not.
We forget that God has to work with, and through, people. People who often have their own selfish agendas and fears and attitudes and can be very uncooperative indeed. We forget that when He gave Adam and Eve authority over creation, He meant that, and has never changed His mind about it. So it is up to every person to decide for ourselves how we are going to behave and treat one another. Our wills may not always be truly "free" due to them being influenced by various things, but our ability to make decisions is God-given, period. He would not be able to judge anyone justly, if we did not have that ability.
Do you not think God grieves when people lose their lives and suffer due to someone else's behavior? He surely does. But again, He can do nothing if people do not cooperate. He can only intervene if someone gives Him room to do so, be that through prayer as we intercede for one another, or as He places us directly into a situation.
Do not lose heart. We live on a sinful planet where people can do horrific things to one another. Which is why followers of Jesus are called to love, compassion and kindness, first of all. Being born Catholic does not make you a follower of Christ, necessarily. You must seek Him for yourself and accept His sacrifice for you by a decision of your own, and by using that measure of faith that God has given to all of us. There are no second-hand Christians, and God does not have grandchildren, He only has children.
QUOTE (TSD @ Aug 15 2008, 11:13 PM)
Ive posted recently on a few topics since I joined today and posted my reason for straying from God. I see so many testimonies of God revealing himself to people, Jesus revealing himself to people and coming into their life. I ask why not me? I have experienced nothing that can't be explained b natural circumstances, or a stong desire for something to be true on my part. At the point in my life I most needed God to be there, I experienced nothing. I lived 18 months in constant fear, and brought death upon other human beings. Not out of pleasure or desire, out of fear of losing my own life. Any evidence anyone has for me of God is a "personal experience" I say its not fair if God exists that I do not get a personal experience. Ive been told I probably didnt recognize what it was when it was given to me. THAT IS NOT FAIR. If God is fair everyone should get a sign or experience they recognize as definitive proof, but that is not the case. Otherwise I would still be a belever myself. All I recieved for being a believer was death rape and killing IN HIS NAME. Should I just say things like "I got a promotion that was God". if thats the case why doesn't the suffering Iraqi kid get reprieve when he asks God for it, but me, in my currently stable life am granted a job promotion by his will, that I probably could have done without? I have come to a personal conclusion that if there is a God and thats a really big if, he/she has nothing to do with our day to day life. I am here looking for that proof to steer me back, or reaffirmation of my current belief. I am sorry but personal experieces do not count, because they are subject to ones own delusion or wish and not admissable as evidence. God gave doubting thomas his proof, why not me!
I think that your message conveying here more or less is, "how can I be a Christian without faith but proof". Part of what faith is how you are going to respond to those telling their own testimony whole-heartedly. God will be pleased more for those believed without 'seeing' Him, as how we are told in the Scripture.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.